Isu PTPTN...

Salam.. sy tertarik dgn isu ptptn nih..jarang ak wat post yg berkaitan dgn.. isu negara.. balik2 soal hati perasaan n korea/jepun/melancong..*ehem*.
Bkn ak tak minat..tp tah nape.. bile ak libatkan diri, ak rasa semacam.. mcm serabut je kepala..kadang, aku stuju la dgn jungki uppa, "I think of myself 1st before others, it's easier that way".. ANYWAY..

Ak cam nak pohon ptpt..tp parents ak bangkang sekeras2nya.T.T. membantutkan smngt aku nak pohon..pahtu, punya leceh nak mhon kan..borang itu ini.pengesahan gitu gini..baca arahan lgi.dokumen perjanjian bagai...maka, smpailah hari ni..motivasi nak ambik tu ilang,lenyap.. tp ttbe nmpak kengkwn byk yg grad 1st klas pastu mntak tukar pt tu jd biasiswa..mmg best..ala2 belajar under biasiswa la tu kan.. Ak rs org2 cine yg amik PT mmg bernas la kan tindakan dorang.sbb kaum dorang ssh nk dpt biasiswa kt sini.. bumiputera la best kan*aku la tu*. so, dorang dahla mmg pndai kan=_=. so, golongan dorang ah yg byk dpt pengecualian PT nih... lecturer ak pun ada ckp..amik jelah..pastu simpan.jgn usik.. blajar pepandai, dpt 1st class.. then, abis, duet tu bleh jd modal bsns.. or duet kawen ke kan=_=.. ekcelli, mmg ak pun pkir cam lecturer aku tuh.. sbb ak nih, jenis pndai simpan duet....ikut pengalaman diri sndiri la..haha

Pemikiran ni mmg simple.. tp nak buat tu.. mmglah tak senang.tp TAK MUSTAHIL..study hard study SMART(semua kwn2ku yg rajen n smart mmg berjaya), doa, tawakkal. Allah pasti bantu~~.btul tak.. ni lah yg aku pikir selalu..tp sbb ak nih anak mithali.. ak terpaksala ikut arahan parents ak..kan dorang lbh mkn garam..huhu.

meh ak kasi cth best.. ekcelli kan.. kiranya mcm dpt biasiswa tau.. korang tau ke.. dak2 yg dpt biasiswa tu pun ekcelli bkn berakher kat ctu je. cth, cam dak2 under biasiswa mara, dorang still kene bayar blk oh..walaupun sket ikut pointer.. and yg lain plak.. kene maintain result 3 bove every sem.. and ada plak yg mntak grad 1st class. law tak, kene byr blk biasiswa tuh..separuh ke,penuh ke..tatau la.. tp yg ptg, MANA ADA ORGANISASI NAK BAGI BENDE PECUME KAT DUNIA ni.. camtu suma org jd peminta sedekah la kan..

Masa ak amik kem ape tah dlu kan.. adelah penceramah tu tnya kat student.. "so, duet biasiswa yg kome dpt tu, apa yg kome buat dgn dia?? berfoya-foya lebih ke..bersedekah ke, ape ke.. sbb duet tu kome kene igt, tu duet amanah kome dpt dr duet rakyat/org. byr tax.." masa tu mmg sentapp la kan..

Mesti ramai yg tak penah terpikir kn.. or terpikir, tp buat2 tak faham/buat2 tatau/buat2 lupa... sbb keseronokan and berfoya-foya tu kan lebih mudah dan indah.. huhu~....

Ok, skang ak nak kasi pendapat seposen dua takat pengetahuan cetek aku..Ak adalah dgr2 dlu.dlu la kan.. isu nak mansuh PT.. aku tatau la details nyer hape.. dgr2 lak nak ganti dgn skim biasiswa? mcm dpt pendidikan percuma la kot.. mmg best. idup kat mesia mmg best kan..haha...~ korang tak rs betuah ke?  tp, mcm ramai plak salah phm,igt dah tade pt, so acaner nak byr yuran pengajian? takyah la blajor, then keje.. kk. tu lah.. tak kaji soal slidik dlu.tau2 je nak maki org =_=.. ni mesti x tgk video matlutfi kan...Anyway.. Dsbbkan ak tatau sgt psl isu tu... cumalah aku nk kasi pendpt...
MANUSIA NI TAK PENAH PUAS.. SIYES.. Ak trgt ad sorang kwn aku post status, "Kalau manusia tu dikasi 1 gunung emas, mesti dia nak gunung emas yg ke-2"

Bila udah dikasi PT, then hbs blajar, komplen, kata susa/seksa nak byr, kene blacklist agi then..Tp dgr2 sudah turun bunga? tp tatau la detailnya kan.(ak x pnah ambil pt)..... awat tak pinjam along je? tak pun, takyah blajar, keje terus (dah, blajar main2, buang duet je kan.. ttbe ak trgt cter korea school 2013..mmg bagus cter nih.byk pengajaran..sedih ada sorang budak nakal kt skulah tu, terpaksa berenti skulah sbb keadaan kluarga yg terlalu memaksa..ak nangis kot time dia ckp kat cekgu dia psl dia nak brenti T_T).. ~ anyway, sambung tadi, tp keje lak nak gaji puluh2 ghibu bila diri/usaha/pengalaman/kepandaian tu tak seberapa..tu yg bising2 tu ngelat xnak nak bayar la tu..byrla, sket2 pun jadilah..ni tak.langsung tade usaha nak bayar walaupun SEPOSEN. tp henpon nak pakai tahap samsung/iphone5+ipad+tab lagi.... *kadang aku paham naper parents aku tak kasi aku ambik pt.. * ktorang suka idup simple.. jgn dekat dgn masalah..~

Dah utang, kenelah bayor kan.. tu je senang~. sedangkan lam Al-Quran pun dah sebut kan..utang tu kene bayar. jgn memain oh hutang ni...masuk kubur terus ke akhirat.lau hbs kat dunia je tape.......
Klau pinjam kt along....mesti rs BERMOTIVASI nak bayar dgn ugutan2 maut dorang..

Isu PT duk tukar ke biasiswa.. nah, kan sudah dibagi..apa susah.. blajar je la pandai2.. dpt 1st klas, trus takyah bayar.. BERSYUKUR la anda rakyat mesia (korang tak sedar org kat luar negara..cth.korea la kan..rmai yg x dpt smbung study sbb yuran mahal.. and biasiswa lak kene compete gila2 sbb rakyat dorang kan ramai.. tu yg ramai keje je trus, takyah masuk univ..ekcelli yuran sekolah pun kadang tinggi.. esp klau nak antar anak dorang kat skulah bagus2 tu)..
ekcelli penukaran PT ke biasiswa ni sgt bagus tau..sbb dia mcm motivasi utk plajar belajar dgn lebih sungguh2.... memula mmg rs cam terpaksa je belajar sbb xnak byr PT.. tp kan.. lama2 korang akan sedar, mmg bagus utk korang nyer masa depan gak selain otometik dpt 'biasiswa'. portfolio cantek..and chance nk cont. master PhD pun CERAH LAGI BERSINAR.

Tp, ttbe lak bc brite.. nak bg kelonggaran dak2 yg dpt 2nd upper class pun mintak dikecualikan byr blk PT.. tp masih dlm prtimbangan.. pergh..mmg best la kan klau lulus.. makin rmai ah dpt 'biasiswa'.. tu, kene la tu kan.. status kwn aku post psl gunung emas tu.

Sekarang, berbalik kpd senario PRU13.. nah........ ekcelli dr dulu smpai skarang ni sama je.. bende2 yg libatkan 'parti' mmg akan bwk konflik tak kiralah sama agama ke, kaum ke.. mmg~~ bende2 ni tak dapat dielakkan.. sbbnya simple je.. 'PERBEZAAN PENDAPAT, EGO, SALAH FAHAM, AND KURANG KOMUNIKASI BERKESAN'.. Tp, ramai org sudah lupa bende2 simple......... yg ekcelly stat diri DIRI SENDIRI mereka dlu..

Aku mls nk tls lbh2 sbb honestly ak mmg allergy dgn politik..sbb? ianya menyerabutkan ..*mmg aku suka main nyorok2* aku tatau naper.. mmg sungguh aku tak berminat..T_T.. rs cam looser pun ade.. tp, aku nak berubahlah sket.. tanak la jd rakyat tak bertanggungjwb kan.tsk2.. so, kenelah ambik tau2 bab2 nih.. Ak plak siyes takde nak pro sesape.. mana baik, aku sapot, calon2 yg ada potensi bleh membaguskan negara dlm jangkamasa pnjang, mmg aku sokong.parti apa pun. korang tak rs, pkir camni lg simple.. drpd duk gaduh2 angin (maksud aku gaduh pasal isu yg dia sendiri pun tak pasti betul salahnya)

Kesimpulan: Buang yg keruh, ambik yg jernih.. Salah silap, hrp dimaafi.. Sekadar kongsi rasa.sekian.
thanks sudi baca.

Majulah diri untuk negara~!

Pengalaman belajar di UK (awas, panjang berjela)

Baru ak prasan ak tak pernah ceciter lg riwayat idup ak time ak duk UK 2 tahon dlu. tetibe byk masa ni bleh ak share2. kot2 berguna ke kan.
Ak pi sana tahon Sept 2009..and balik dlm June 2011.. Lebih kurang 2 taHun lah~ Ak stadi kat Wales.. Cardiff University tu. main building dia nyer exterior mmg cun. peberet org ramai bwat photoshoot tuh. haha. motif ak pileh cardiff sbb sara idup sana murah sket.. nak banding manchester, ke london ke.. and ranking dia pun baguih in pharmacy.. top 10 lah~ Masihku igt time first yer ak n 2 org mmber agi ditkadirkan duk satu umah. ni mcm rumah2 sewa di bwh kelolaan university lah~. Yg lawaknya kan.. nama jalan rumahku itu adalah 'MISKIN STREET'..umah tu 7 bilek. so lg 4 org tu .. adalah dak dr HK sorang, then erasmus student(france, and germany)..  tak lama pahtu, ada sorang lg masuk.ak lupa dia negara mana.=_=... europe la klau tak silap ak.. Netherlands ke? Erasmus ni budak2 pndai tau. dorang ni 6 mnths je kat cardiff ni under student exchange program.... Well, mcm2 la ragam ak observe si housemates2 aku nih..haha.. nk cter pnjang lak en... tp, yg bagusnya ak igt si dak germany tuh suka bukak tingkap time autumn.ya Allah sejuk kot. dahla da jarang pasang heater.. dia ni mmg 'green lover' la ak bleh kaitkan. slalu dia yg rajin asingkan smpah sarap kat umah ktorang..and kalau ada je bende yg tercampur, abislah naik nota cinta kat dapur.=_=''..

ASDA..
Mesti korang tertanya, kejadah pebende nih. ni namanya supermarket.. klau kt m'sia ala2 giant kot.. Ak igt lg, sebaik je landing kt heathrow, and pihak Univ jemput ktorang amik kat epot(perjalanan 5 jam camtu kot ke cardiff), and bwk masuk rumah.. blom smpat aku bernafas and dgn beg masih unpack, jeng3.. dtg senior2 (dak2 malaysian kat sana) culik ktorang bwk pegi daftar kursus (amik gambor student card, blah3...) then terus je pergi ke tempat bernama ASDA.. oh.rupanya nak bwk ktorang bli brg2 keperluan rumah.... cadar, bantal,periuk belanga ppisau bagai sumalah beli.. time tu lak br dpt duit an.... so, tutup mata je la blanja.. pengalaman bwk duit beso £50 kot(eh, ye ker..lupa lah), pahtu, si cashier tu terpaksalah guna scanner ke hapebende nak pastikan duit tu tak palsu kot.hohoho~. lupa ak nak cter, kat sana, org tak bwk byk ash, plg2 pun £5 -10 je.. sbb brg sana murah. haha.. £5 tu ibarat 5 hengget je bg dorang. With that amount of money, mcm2 korang bleh beli.. tp klau kat M'sia, RM5 dpt beli 2 bungkus keropok potato cips je..
Bestnya ASDA nih dia ada delivery.. ekcelli byk la lg bende2 kat UK nih yg sediakan delivery service tau.. time tu pestyme ak naik aeroplane..and pegi tgk negara org.. masa tu, barulah aku sedar.. bagaimana negara maju itu punya rupa..pengalaman kan..hehe..  mmg best.. click ke kat website dia.. and pilih katergory apa, quantity suma.. and bestnya, dorang ske kasi diskaun*_*~.. ade je item2 yg dorang nak bawt penghabisan stok, so, dorang highlight lebih la~.. delivery fee dia murah je.£3.5.. masa tu, terpaksala pejam mata, dan anggap mcm RM3.50. walhal lau convert dlm dekat RM20.haha.. pastu, taip alamat, debit card details suma, set date bila nak delivery.. slot dia byk tau.. mmg user friendly lah website dia.. sgt mudah nak shopping..and tenet sana plak laju kan.. maka, bertambah memudahkan pekerjaan la kiranya~ hoho. bende yg ak ske beli tentulah biskut asda.. and most brg yg ak beli jenama asda ..hahaha.. bleh tahanlah.. digestive biskut dia plg seddap.murah lak tu kan.so, slalu la ak borong bebanyak~*_*~. bykla lg brg2 yg best.. and bila korang dah slalu sgt order, slalu dorang akan kasi bonus.. after a long time, aku tak perlu lg nak byr delivery fee. sbb point aku dah byk sgt.=_='' so, mmg mudahla idup kat sana..hua3.. sbb tu ah, berat pun naik kan..=_=''

REDWOOD BUILDING
Cardiff univ ni campus univ.. so, bgnn dia merata2 la kat cardiff city centre tuh.. dak2 pharmacy ada building dia sendiri. namanya redwood building, 4 tingkat. so, sume kelas lab bagai kat ctu. time first year hari2 ak jln kaki ulang alik ke kelas.. dlm 15 mnts je.. klau dah lambat tuh(terlajak tido kan), jalan ala2 marathon sket, 10 mnts smpai..

FIRST SNOW
Dah pegi negara empat musim ni of course bende yg plg ak esaited nk tgk adalah SNOW! Ditakdirkan december 2009 adalah snow petama aku~ tp, lawaknya bkn di UK..Di Ireland. haha.. ak pi jalan tmpat bestfren ak.dia stadi kat dublin sana.in dentistry. Time tu ak dgn yunni kat park apa tah namanya.. ktorang tgk swan..punya cantik swan2 tuh*_*~. and tetibe je salji turun.tp kejap jer.. dlm 5-10 mnts kot.. hehe.. kwn ak siap bwat video tau. lawak gila ble tgk blk video tuh.sumpah jakun=_=''

RYANAIR
Ni mcm ala2 AIRASIA. mmg best ryanair.. sbb dialah kapalterbang tmbang plg rendah klau nak jejalan kat Europe. Tp, cam beselah, kene tempah awal.. ada senior aku tuh, dia bayar 50pence je aw.. pergh.. masa memula dgr dia citer mmg rs mcm tipu je..  So, atas jasa ryanair, merasalah aku jalan2 kat belfast, scotland, ireland. and mana tah lg.. aku lupa.

ARGOS
Ni plg best... argos ni senpai ak yg perkenalkan. dia ala2 court mammoth la lau kt m'sia. yg bestnya, bila pegi kedai dia.. sgt mudah tau shopping.. korang takyah susah nak pusing2 keda cari barang2 yg korang nak.. dia ada sediakan kaunter. kat ctu, ada katalog tebal ngalahkan kamus dwibahasa. haha.. pilih je kategory mana bagai, brg apa korang nak beli.so, kira cam pembelian melalui katalog lah nih.. then, taip kod brg tuh kat satu machine kat ctu.. klau dia kata available, then, korang bleh proceed ke 'payment caunter'.. and ckp kod brg korang and bayar.. pastu, dia kasi nombor tau...(dah macam kat pejabat pos pun ada.haha).... tunggu kat depan 'item collection counter' smpai number korang korang dipanggil.. korang dpt tgk brg2 dtg dr dalam stor kot.. jalan2 atas belt.. ala, yg cam korang tuggu nk ambik luggage kat epot after landing tuh.. hoho. cool kan.. brg petama yg aku beli kat sana adalah printer! 3 in one. ak igt lg harga dia dlm RM170 camtu la.. pastu, katalog tuh dia sediakan byk..maka, bwklah balik kami, utk rujukan utk beli brg next time.. printer aku tu okey.. tp sbb bli yg murah kan, so, kadang2 dia agak semput.=_=''.. brg plg best ak bli kat sana adalah Kenwood smoothie to go~ dia mcm blender utk buat smoothie.. ak bli sbb ada diskaun.time tu beli £17.. skang ak tgk dlm £25 kot.. ble guna, mmg dia crush habislah cili2 bawang2, suma halus gila.. cepat plak tuh..mmg puas hati.segala bende aku telah masukkan dlm blender tu, dan performance dia tetap terbaik biarpun hari2 digunakan... sudah 2 tahun dah bende tu  skarang dah tiga tahun.ok lagi kot aku rasa~ faktor lain, adalah sbb ia nmpak compact, mudah disimpan, serta senang dicuci*_*.. weh, dah mcm promoter ke hape ak ni..=_='' ni ha rupa dia --> click here

TAHUN KEDUA
Tahun kedua ak duk umah luar.. skalu dgn senpai final year, and rakan2 farmasi lg 3 org kat riverside.. mmg sgt dekat dgn city centre, river tough, bute park, and millennium stadium.. sewa umah pun jauh lebih murah~~best2.. tp, tak bestnya, dia jauh sket la jln kaki ke kelas.. dlu 15 mnts je, pastu, dah jadi 30-40 minutes.. so, korang bygkan, hari2 dlm sejam lebih la aku spend masa jln kaki ulang alik ke kelas.hoho. tp not bad lah.. sbb sana sejuk kan.. (sbb summer balik malaysia cuti).. pastu, lalu bute park yg cun tuh.. kat UK nih, byk tau taman2 reakreasi awam.. mmg best.. kat msia ada jgk.. haha.tp mestilah tak sama kan..hoho..bute park ni besarr. klau musim2 tertentu, cth spring ker, and bunga2 sakura berkembangan, time tu ramailah org sker lepak2 sana... So, perjalanan ak ke kelas taklah bosan sgt.. kawan2 lain ramai nek basikal.. ak tatau nape ak tak naik basikal..may be sbb ak asik tangguh je nak bli beskal..alih2, mcm selesa je idup jln kaki ke kelas.haha~


INTERNET INTERNET INTERNET
Bila dah duk kat negara maju nih, mmg manja, suma bende bleh dpt ujung jari je kan...nak shopping pun on9..terima kasih kat lloyds tsb debit card jugak..haha~ kwn ak slalu bli buku kt amazon.mmg murah, plus dorang slalu jual brg2 2nd hand jgk..so, sgt byk choice tau.. aku bli ak nyer itouch pun online thru apple on9store. and byk la lagi.. ak tak rs takut2 nak bli, sbb ak yakin dgn delivery service kat sana..hehe.. klau dia kata brg tu smpai harini, mmg harini la dia smpai. klau lmbat, biasa dia akan email, or tepon~ pastu, nak tgk drama tu, punya laju.. tiket bus, tiket train, tiket kapalterbang..suma beli kat internet.. dari citulah ak blaja DIY aka DO IT YOURSELF.. .. suma bende bwat sendiri.. nak blk m'sia,rebut tiket bus ke london.. ak igt sada satu bus nih peberet org ramai.. sbb tmbang dia sgt minima... £1 jer weh cardiff-lon.. dlm 5 jam perjlnn 1 way.

MASTERCHEF
Bila dah dok negara omputih nih, mmgla susah sket nk carik mknn halal.. bukan cm kt mesia, korang leh mkn ape je. sini, kene pilih.. maka, nak taknak terpaklah memasak tiap2 hari.lau tak, mati kebulur/poket kering asik makan luar je kan..haha.. maka, dari situlah aku peratikan skill2 memasak suma kwn2 ak mmg mantop.. siyes, lulus dah nak kawen.. aku sudi sgt nak rekemen kwn2 aku kat lelaki2 baik di luar sana. kkkk.
plg aku ske ujung2 minggu. bese, ada makan2 kt umah senpai ke, umah sape2 lah.kadang kat umah sendiri. dak malaysian kat cardiff la of course.. ktorang gather2.. and masak2.. mmg seddapppp... dessert la plg aku suka.haha~ ada satu kek nih.. beli kat POUNDLAND... £1 jer to mmg sodapp. so, klau sesape smbut besday, bese ktorang bli kek nih utk meraikan.(rs lawak, tp mmg best.. sbb tiap2 kali sesape yg smbut besday, bese ktorang akn buat makan2 kt rumah org tu utk meraikan kegembiraan dan eratkan silaturrahim..hoho..)
Memasak mmg mencabar la gak tp menarik.. sbb tiap2 minggu nak kene masak lauk2 yg berbeza.. gugle la peneman setia utk tgk resipi..ye la, takut nnt housemate muak lak en.... bende yg plg ak ske msk adalah stew. sbb ia sehat,sedap, dan mudah~. ni ak blajar dr atiq. ak mntak resipi kt dia. pastu, try sendirik and ubahsuai sket.. kadang dah mcm rupa sup pun ada.haha. tp mmg sedap(haha..puji diri =_=). sbb tu lah, dok sana sehat walafiat je tau.. ramai sgt masterchef kan~hahaha



JALAN SAMPAI PATAH KAKI
Bestnya kat UK ni sgt byk tmpat jalan.. tiap2 wilayah tu, ada tarikan unik dia tersendiri.. susun atur bandar, and rekabentuk bagnn,accent,budaya, etc.. mmg sgt menarik... korang leh jalan ke london, birm, oxbridge(2 univ femes tu), scotland, wales, belfast..etc.... byklah lagi~~.. sbb UK ni walaupun negara dia taklah sebesar US, tp, southern part of UK tu, mmg agak padat tau. ak pun tak habis pusing UK nih.haha.. bese, kalau inbound travel ni, ktorang naik train.. sbb convinient, and selesa. kadang, naik bus.. tp, mostly train..ak suka naik train kat UK.. sbb boleh makan, and tidur dgn selesa... and ada seated seat, and agak laju.. tp, of course takdelah selaju bullet train japan tu kan.





Sampai sini je la dlu aku cter.. jiran2 ak pun dah stop men bunga api.so, blehla ak tidor dgn aman.hoho..
ok chow~.

A worse nightmare and cool JB.

I've never had nightmare over the past few months, but suddenly yesterday, it came up...Scary, but strangely..might some of you can laugh about it.. well. let me start..

So, my friends and I had a camp or something.. one of the participant, is JB.. someone I like a lot.. (짝사랑)Lots of accident happened during the camp.. I think one of our friend died in a car accident.. ah..can't remmber.. Then, an uproar happened, whereby everyone was like running around? I'm not too sure why.. it was like a tsunami attack.. So sudden.. Then, I was walking forward..suddenly a friend called me so, I turned my head back for awhile, just to say friendly 'hi' or something.. and continue walked away..but, just then, I looked up, then, seeing the lamp hung on the ceiling tilted out of its attachment point. I was caught in grasp. Blank, and froze right on the spot, only to open my eyes over the next seconds after hearing a loud 'bbang!" .. there.. lied the lamp right on front of me..o.0.... so scary.. People around me was caught in gazed.. I wonder what happened to me if a fren didn't called me from behind.. I could be in coma or something even worse..

Then, before, I could really realised and get hold on myself, I turned my head back again, only to see.. the metal rope(i dunno what do they call this thing in english..that rantai besi thingy)... hit, right onto JB's face.. and people around him was like o.0... over what their eyes just witnessed.. I can see his teeth covered w/ blood. But seeing him still able to stand, and look around, make me think.. oh mai.. thank God he's still alive or something.. huh........ Everything happened in a split second.. Let aside my previous lamp incident, I ran my life towards JB, and shouted, "someone, call ambulance now, now!" I said to JB. "it's ok.. u're alright now.. you're not in pain..Nothing is serious.."..I said that while looking straight into his face and put both my hand on his shoulder, to calm him down.. JB must be wondering, who is this girl suddenly came to me like this.. (haha)..He must be really shock.. I want to cry so much, seeing him in pain and blood everywhere on his face.. But I couldn't.. tears just locked inside..  I'm not sure the cause of the incident.. I think a friend was practising ninja something with the metal rope, when it happened to hit him a split second like that.. oh mai.. What kind of camp is this!!..

The next moment, I realised, we're at the riverbank. But looks like water level gonna rise very soon.So, I shouted to JB seeing he sat very close to the river.. I saw his note had stain of blood.. Looks like he's OK now, to be able to do revision for our next test.. and still able to endure that pain w/o being hospitalised.. I smiled and thought.. "See, I have a good eyes when choosing the right man... he's really cool."  hahaha~

As much as I thought the nightmare would stop here.. No.. this was when the scariest part came in.. I saw a few things... floating in the sky.. it looks like a plate ? of small UFO ship thingy in green and pink, transparent form.. there are few of them on the sky.. People around me were also dazing at the sky, with unbelievable expression on their face.. I took out my HP to take picture, But suddenly a friend said.. "Yah, don't take picture, that UFO will know" ..i was like..huh? UFO?? really? Don't kid around with that jokes... But then, more and more people like murmuring the word UFO..UFO.. o.0... At that moment, I thought something really ridiculous was about to happen.. "really UFO?? REALLY????" Then, an announcement was made, ... people suddenly become panic... someone shouted "UFO has arrived to invade our Earth.. " o.0.........

Suddenly,, the blue sky covered w/ millionssss of something looked like UFO spaceship... before, we only saw few, but now.. it was totally covering the sky!! from blue, becomes light pink and green in color.. I was trying to be calm...but the thought of.. "so, i'm gonna be dead in the next moment".. right.. when some friend said... "I heard they have many weapons to kill us".. and they're UFO.. of course they don't have brain to think properly like us, human beings.. They just will kill all of us, human if they want to invade the Earth... For the first time in my life, I was really really really scared to death until I can't find a way to describe my fright.. the situation I felt that time was worse than just 'scary'.. I wish that everything was not real.. Please, this is just a nightmare.. Please someone tell me, it's not true..

The next second.. I opened my eyes.. and realised I was in my bedroom..... Ya Allah, thank you it was a mere nightmare... Although it feel real..........T_T......... I can still remember how the UFO is flying in the sky, while people looked delightedly happy to see that unique thingy.. Only to be caught in a worse frightening moment  over the next seconds.. Also, how the metal rope hit JB's face as if I can feel how painful he is in... but yet, still look cool.......

Erghh.. bad nightmare.. really bad one..

A thought of committing suicide..

Have you ever, in life.. thinking about committing suicide..
Because of various reasons..
Most likely u're tired of living..

I personally had once.. thought about this shameful thing..As much as I want to erase my memory and pain.... that.. to the point I think that everything that happened to me was a mere nightmare.. unfortunately,.. reality that i could not erase in my brain..

There's a say "berat mata memandang, berat lg bahu memikul".. FOr the first time of my life, I would never want to ignore this simple words..

This is a true story.. Happened in the year 2010-2011 ...... Esp year 2011. I was amazed looking how I managed to survive.. the most bitter period of my life... So far..
May be because of a positive mind that I have.. and mental preparation.. support from family members.. and close friends...  Thinking back.. it's a gift.. being born as a muslim.. Most grateful reason that I manage to stand in this harsh world again.. At first, dragging my feet was really heavy.. Slowly, collecting my courage, I learn to walk again.. sometimes, I run.. 

That, I only realise.. when I've lost something.. To protect your belongings.... although temporarily.. We should try our best.. To be able to walk again.. finding our way again.......

Although looking at the old pictures are hard, recollecting good memories before the storm came was suffocating.. remembering happy faces, but yet you crashed..enduring embarrassment. to the thought of hoping something would knock off my head.. hoping the bad memories would be erased.. forever..

Then.... I was reborn.. again.. as a new person.. the only solution.. that time.. is convenience for me to escape.. changing perception, building up courage, I want to be stronger.. With that.. 'give up' had never appear in my life dictionary, but 'choice'.. ever..

:)