A thought of committing suicide..

Have you ever, in life.. thinking about committing suicide..
Because of various reasons..
Most likely u're tired of living..

I personally had once.. thought about this shameful thing..As much as I want to erase my memory and pain.... that.. to the point I think that everything that happened to me was a mere nightmare.. unfortunately,.. reality that i could not erase in my brain..

There's a say "berat mata memandang, berat lg bahu memikul".. FOr the first time of my life, I would never want to ignore this simple words..

This is a true story.. Happened in the year 2010-2011 ...... Esp year 2011. I was amazed looking how I managed to survive.. the most bitter period of my life... So far..
May be because of a positive mind that I have.. and mental preparation.. support from family members.. and close friends...  Thinking back.. it's a gift.. being born as a muslim.. Most grateful reason that I manage to stand in this harsh world again.. At first, dragging my feet was really heavy.. Slowly, collecting my courage, I learn to walk again.. sometimes, I run.. 

That, I only realise.. when I've lost something.. To protect your belongings.... although temporarily.. We should try our best.. To be able to walk again.. finding our way again.......

Although looking at the old pictures are hard, recollecting good memories before the storm came was suffocating.. remembering happy faces, but yet you crashed..enduring embarrassment. to the thought of hoping something would knock off my head.. hoping the bad memories would be erased.. forever..

Then.... I was reborn.. again.. as a new person.. the only solution.. that time.. is convenience for me to escape.. changing perception, building up courage, I want to be stronger.. With that.. 'give up' had never appear in my life dictionary, but 'choice'.. ever..

:)